Grumpy opinions about everything.

Month: July 2023

In Search of a Bench

Margie and I just returned from 10 days in Florida. We combined my SAR conference with a few days of vacation. We got to spend the vacation days with our grandson (and his parents, of course).

We took him for a day at Disney World and a day at Universal Studios. He had a great time and we enjoyed watching him have fun. But for us old folks, it was extremely hot. It was also a lot of walking. We consider ourselves doing well if we get in a mile and a half for a daily walk. At Disney we covered over 7 miles, which left us drained. For the next day at Universal we drafted his parents to go with us so they could do some of the high-speed keeping up with an active 11 year old. We only covered about four miles at Universal but that’s still more than our average.

There was one thing that caused us to tire out more than we should have. That’s the lack of any place to sit in either park. They must think all seniors will be in wheelchairs. What few benches we found were in the direct sun or were occupied. Any shaded place to sit almost inevitably required purchase of food or drink.

Neither Disney nor Universal can be considered senior friendly.

“Disney! Universal! If you want older folks to continue bringing their grandchildren to your parks and spending money, you need to be sensitive to our needs. We need some place to sit! In the shade! It’s the least you can do in return for our spending money at your parks.”

And that is my grumpy opinion!

Full disclosure: the bench shown above is not in either park…But Margie found it!

Merry Old England

Decisions, Decisions
Margie and I got married in June of 1971. Shortly thereafter she received a check for her vested portion of retirement for two years of teaching. So, what should we do? Perhaps we should open a savings account. Or maybe, we could invest it.

Finally, starting a pattern that happily follows us through more than 50 years of marriage, we decided to take a trip. Since there was no internet, we went to a travel agent. We had to find a trip that would fit into the next seven weeks before the fall semester started. We were able to find a trip to the British Isles. It was high on Margie’s list because she’s always been fascinated with Stonehenge.

It was a long flight, though more comfortable than the flights now because the seats were larger and had more legroom. But still, that’s when we discovered Margie suffers significant west to east jet lag. Even now, we never plan anything for the first day of a trip to Europe. The transatlantic flights always seem to leave in the evening or early night. I suppose they think everyone will sleep on the way over. Since neither of us can sleep on the airplane, it’s directly to the hotel room for us.

England Swings (like a pendulum do)
Growing up in the 1960s we were heavily influenced by the British invasion beginning with The Beatles first US hit “I want To Hold Your Hand” in 1964. We couldn’t get enough of all things British, the music, the fashions, the haircuts and the slang. Mod was what the style was called, and Carnaby Street was the place to find it.

What a major disappointment! What had been the iconic epicenter of swinging London in the 1960s had become a tawdry, shabby looking street of overpriced gift stores and strung-out people by the 1970s. But it was still fun and there was more yet to see.

Fortunately, Carnaby St. wasn’t the only thing in London. Trafalgar Square, with the Nelson Monument, was a busy and fascinating place. We loved the Albert and Victoria Museum and the British Museum. I was especially fascinated with the Egyptian displays at the British Museum.

For me, a highlight of our visit to London was the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. While we were there, we got to see a rare occurrence. The Coldstream Guards (think the big bear skin hats) were being deployed to Northern Ireland and the Royal Marines were taking over responsibility for guarding the palace.

A few random thoughts on London: I was struck at how unimposing 10 Downing Street is compared to the White House. It’s just a townhouse in the middle of the block with the door right on the street. Although, I suppose the appropriate comparison is to Buckingham Palace. We were surprised to learn that Big Ben is not the name of the large clock tower, that’s the Westminster Tower. Big Ben is the name of the bell that chimes the hours. The London tube (subway) was easy to use, as were the buses. It wasn’t until several years later when we visited Paris that I realized the ease of use was because the schedules were printed in English. I think it’s just part of our natural American inclination that everyone should speak English.

Touching History
We planned our trip to Stonehenge. It’s interesting that at the time there were no scheduled tours from London to Stonehenge. We had to arrange for a train trip to Salisbury, the nearest town. We bought our ticket on a standard English train. We had a first class ticket which gave us a private compartment. It was what we would now think of as the “Harry Potter train”. But in those pre-Potter days we thought of it as the “Murder on the Orient Express” train. I kept waiting for Hercule Poirot to show up in our compartment.

When we arrived at Salisbury we stopped at a shop for tea and biscuits. We asked how to get to Stonehenge. They told us to catch a local bus. There was a bus route with a stop that was about 100 or so yards from Stonehenge.

Surprisingly, there was no visitor center or gift shop at Stonehenge. There was a small pull-off where a few cars could park, but mostly it was just an open area. We walked from the bus stop to Stonehenge and were able to walk right up to the monument. We could walk around and touch the individual stones and we could have climbed on them had we desired. It’s amazing to think that we were able to be right in the middle of it since now the whole area is cordoned off so you can’t approach it and must view it from a distance.

We were lucky to go there at a time when it was still approachable. I have always marveled that preindustrial people were able to move and manipulate these massive stones. (Perhaps aliens really were involved.)

Touring the Rest of England
After more than 50 years it’s hard for me to remember the exact itinerary of the remainder of our tour in England. There are a few things that come to mind. Every village has a church, and they are all old, and when we were on a tour bus it seemed like we visited every one of them. It was a bit too much for us 20-somethings.

We stopped at a pub one evening, I don’t remember where or what we ate but I do remember what we had to drink. I ordered an English beer; I was a little hesitant since they come warm. I discovered they brew them to be drunk warm, and it was good. But what isn’t made to be drunk warm is Coca-Cola. Margie ordered a coke, and they brought her a glass, warm and right out of the bottle. She asked for some ice and the bartender gave her that look like, “Bloody Yanks,” and then disappeared into the back with the glass. He came back after what must have been 10 minutes with the glass in hand and a single cube of ice floating in it. He set the glass down with a self-satisfied look and pointed to it as if to say, “Here’s your bloody ice.”

I was surprised at how extensive the Roman occupation of Britain was. I was equally surprised how much of their influence remains. The Romans brought road building, city planning and many of the crops that were staples in England through the Middle Ages. They also introduced the Christian religion. Even the word Britain is of Roman origin.

One last thought about England before we head north to Scotland. We were touring through an area called the Lake District; a beautiful area that, according to our bus driver, was the honeymoon district of England. We stopped in a small village that he said was the most fertile village in England. And I think he was telling the truth; I have never seen so many baby buggies in one place. Maybe there’s something in the water.

On to Scotland!

The Times They Are A Changin’

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: Ecclesiastes.

I never expected I would be quoting Bob Dylan and the bible in the same post. But I’d like to talk a little bit about change. We’ve all heard the old saying, “the only things that are certain in life are death and taxes.” But there is one other thing that is certain and that’s change.

Without change there is no life. We are born, we grow, we raise families and eventually we die. The whole cycle of life is a cycle of change. That doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Change is stressful whether it be change for the better or change for the worse. Even change that brings joy such as the birth of a new child or starting a new job can be stressful.

Will we raise our children the way they should be raised? Will they have a good life? Will they be successful?

Will we like our new job? Will we do as well as the person before us? Will we meet expectations?

Change is never without stress. Even those of us who think that we like change, place our own personal limits on it. While we want change and we want things that are new, innovative, and exciting, we still want them to be pretty much the way they are now. Too often we think of change as wanting things to be the same but somehow better.

Unfortunately, that’s not the way of life.

I think about the small changes in life that become major stressors. You buy a new car and discover that the owner’s manual is two inches thick because of all the high tech options. I’ve had my car for 10 years and I’m still discovering features I didn’t know about.

We all know what it’s like when you get a new cell phone and you can’t even figure out how to answer a call, much less use all the other features that the kids take in stride.

Don’t even get me started on television. Those of us with a certain level of life experience (you can insert old here) remember when there were only three networks, and we had to get up and walk across the room to change the channel. Now we work our way through the myriad of remote controls, streaming services, viewing options, and who knows what else just to watch a show.

But if you stop and think about it, those things that we are comfortable with now, that we wish wouldn’t change, are those same new things that just a few years ago caused us so much stress. Eventually we adapt to all these changes and incorporate them into our comfort zone. Then, having achieved familiarity with those changes, we try to preserve them from the next wave of new ideas.

The older I get, the more I find myself inclined to resist change. Particularly if it involves learning a whole new set of rules or procedures. I think it’s because I have nostalgia for a past that probably was never quite as rosy as I imagine it to have been. When I look back honestly, as much as I would like to have a 1966 Corvette Convertible, I have to admit that it wouldn’t drive anywhere near as well as even the most inexpensive new car today.

And do I really want to live without Google, e-mail, cell phones and GPS? Well, sometimes yes, but for the most part I’m happy about technology, even the dreaded Zoom.

So, what do we do about change? We jump right in and get started. It may be messy; it may be stressful; it may be confusing. But if we are positive and persevere, the result will be beautiful, and we will be blessed by embracing change.

The first step is to recognize that change is inevitable. We must stay flexible and focus on the positive. We need to set realistic expectations. Every transition involves a stressful start as we attempt to reconcile competing ideas into a single coherent and uniform plan.

We need to look on change as a learning and growth experience from which we will gain valuable insight into ourselves and our values. If we get overwhelmed, we need to stop focusing on the details and look at the broader picture of life.

Change is what makes life interesting. It’s what helps us continue to grow as we get older. Keep living and keep changing. It makes it all worthwhile. I’m even willing to change my opinions on occasion (maybe).

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