A Time For New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions aren’t as popular as they used to be, but this is the time of year when we start thinking about all the things we should do, all the things we want to do and all the things we probably won’t do. But wouldn’t it be nice if we could just enroll in a simple, study at home course to gain all those longed for skills?

With that in mind, I’m going to share with you the Adult Self Education Course Catalogue from the Institute for Advanced Self-Delusion. An earlier version was shared with me by my friends Jane and Leigh. Alas, the original author is unknown. I have taken that original and made additions, deletions, and revisions, all to meet my personal needs for self improvement.

Adult Self Education
Institute for Advanced Self-Delusion Course Catalogue

Self-Improvement
SI 101 Creative Suffering
SI 102 Overcoming Peace of Mind
SI 103 Singing for the Tone Deaf
SI 104 Guilt as a Lifestyle
SI 105 The Primal Shrug
SI 106 Ego Gratification Through Apathy
SI 107 Molding Your Child’s Behavior Through Guilt and Fear
SI 108 Dealing with Post Realization Depression
SI 109 Whine Your Way to Alienation
SI 110 How to Overcome Self-doubt Through Pretense and Ostentation
SI 111 Finding Contentment Through Willful Ignorance

Business and Career
BC 101 How I turned a $50,000 Investment into $100 Through Real Estate
BC 102 Money Can Make You Rich
BC 103 Financial Opportunities from Unsolicited Emails
BC 104 Selling Your Unneeded Organs for Profit
BC 105 Underachiever’s Guide to Very Small Business Opportunities
BC 106 Tax Shelters for the Bankrupt
BC 107 Panhandler’s Guide to American Cities
BC 108 Flatulence for Fun and Profit

Arts and Crafts
AC 101 Self-Actualization Through Macramé
AC 102 Cuticle Crafts
AC 103 Bonsai Your Pet
AC 104 Cheap Gifts for the Ungrateful
AC 105 Abstract Stick Figures for the Untalented
AC 106 1001 Uses for Cat Hair

Home Economics
HE 101 Convert Your Vacuum Cleaner into an Automatic Weapon
HE 102 Convert Your Family Room into a Garage
HE 103 Burglar Proof Your Home with Concrete
HE 104 Convert Your Wheelchair into a Dune Buggy
HE 105 How to Tell If Your Smart TV Is Spying on You
HE 106 The Paranoid’s Guide to Alexa
HE 107 Landscaping: An Expensive Way to Feed the Deer

Health and Fitness
HF 101 Creative Tooth Decay
HF 102 The Complete Guide to Sinus Drainage
HF 103 Exorcism and Acne
HF 104 Joys of Hypochondria
HF 105 Living the High Fiber Life
HF 106 Biofeedback and How to Stop
HF 107 Skate Your Way to Regularity
HF 108 Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule
HF 109 Optional Body Functions
HF 110 Why Do Smart People Do Stupid Things and Can They Be Cured?
HF 111 1001 Delicious Recipes for Kale (Never Mind, I Can’t Find Any)